-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright,
until you hear them speak.
-He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
-A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
-Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
-Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
-Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
-The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
-It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone
would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
-If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
-The things that come to those who wait are the things left by those who got
-Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will
sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
-Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
-The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
-A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
-When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
EDIT : Auto-tagging SUCKS